Move over, Alex Ross

because your colleague at the New Yorker, Peter Schjeldahl may have come up with the best line ever from an artistic review:

Two main stories competed in the fifties to explain the significance of Abstract Expressionism.  One was nationalist, asserting native values of freedom and energy, as if America herself made the works.  The other, Greenberg’s, posited an inevitability of formal development in painting, through progressive styles that were ever more attuned to the medium’s material givens of flatness and pigmentation and ever more averse to any sort of reference or illusion.  Both tales ran aground in the sixties, when the New York School’s big painting became the chassis for Warhol’s Marylins and Elvises, and its frank uses of paint informed the taciturn object-making of minimalism.  Then those movements, too, disintegrated, and it’s pretty much been one damn thing after another ever since.