Cultures wage wars in many ways, often leading to profound advances in human creativity and knowledge. They create opulent works of architecture, erect grand totems to their gods, and go exploring for uncharted territories and domains. But now there’s a new race: the race to teach little kids to memorize and perfectly execute the music of Leonard Bernstein.
I urge all parents: start now. If your infant’s first word isn’t “Maria”, we’re never going to cover the ground we need to. Make “Let Our Garden Grow” your nighttime lullaby. At birthday parties, replace the traditional “Happy Birthday” with the 4 Anniversaries of 1948 [but please avoid the 7 Anniversaries of 1988 at all costs.]
By the age of five, if your child can’t rattle off the opening lick of Trouble in Tahiti on the clarinet, or make at least a passable rendition of the piano solo from the 2nd Symphony, we will simply have to give up hope and demure to the accomplishments of a much greater culture.
PS. While we’re at it, let’s give Mozart a rest for the ABC’s and switch to Ligeti:
OK, a while back, I posted a blog entry about poor Esa-Pekka, who had been made to look so egregiously un-handsome by some LA press agent’s legerdemain, and now it’s maybe gotten worse…?
…to the point where I have to suspect that he is consciously choosing to present himself in the least flattering light, perhaps under the assumption that an ever-vivacious 50-something conductor/doyen does not a full-time serious composer make.
But at least he looks way less old-lesbianish in this more recent photo – more grizzled, more rugged, even kind of hot (I mean come on, those eyes…?)
But what, Dear Readers, are we to make of the following image??
To the credit of the New York Philharmonic, they did not choose their new Music Director for his looks. Maestro Gilbert never won any beauty competitions and that’s just fine – I’m sure he more than makes up for it in his probing interpretations. But to the publicity department of the NYP: surely, surely we can do better than this… can’t we?
What happened to the days of composers and conductors having respectable portraits taken of themselves?
And since we’re on the subject: where are the cigarettes in the first two photos?? As the portraits of Mssrs. Reiner, Ravel, and Shostakovich clearly reveal, any adult male classical musician who wants to be taken seriously needs to be photographed smoking a cigarette, regardless of whether he smokes in real life. It wouldn’t hurt him to get his ass over to a piano and procure a large piece of manuscript paper either.
Pitted against their predecessors, the first two photos come of looking pretty amateurish. Of course, certain advanced models should not necessarily be emulated:
Not that I’m trying to get all political in this space, but I want to single out certain people in positions of power around the world for their recent displays of musical acumen. First is senior White House advisor David Axelrod (above), who took a “musical leave of absence” from his duties in Washington to hear the Chicago Symphony play Lennyz “Serenade after Plato’s Symposium” simply because it is so rarely played. Well done, Mr. Axelrod.
Next, even greater honors go to one Vladimir Putin, “Prime Minister” of Russia, who recently held a forum for Russia’s literary leaders, during which he said, and I am totally not making this up:
Humanity has entered a new development stage, and cannot turn back. It should be taken for granted. There is no way to reverse progress.
You know no worse than I do, and possibly better than I do that new means of expression appear every now and then in music and pictorial arts. Take our compatriot Alfred Schnittke. His music appeared sophisticated to the extreme. One did not think more complicated music could have been written-but contemporary composers write music of which experts say that no unprepared listener can hear out a piece from beginning to end. But some people enjoy such music and say that is the only way music should be today.
Say what?? Did the PM and general éminence grise of Russia seriously just name check Al Schnittke? Damn straight. But Putin has distinguished himself in matters musical before: in 2007, at the death of Mstislav Rostropovitch, the then premier issued a statement of public grief and attended the cellist’s funeral. I remember that this seemed somehow natural to me at the time, but my good friend and insightful commentator El Bensòn (who is apparently an opera blogger at this point) was duly startled, and contextualized the event with the following question: “Do you think George Bush would make a public announcement about the death of Yo Yo Ma?”
Um…
Unfortunately, just when things were looking up in the public sphere with regard to music, there’s This which basically cancels out everything that was ever good or right with humanity. Pity.
On the flip side, if you want to read one of the finest pieces of writing about politics in music (not the other way around), I would direct you to our good friend Slavoj Žižek’s article “Shostakovitch in Casablanca“.
Americans used to have the most marvelous way of saying the word “orchestra”, somewhere in between “awchestra” and “ohchestra”. It had a vaguely patrician ring to it and yet it was entirely of the people. I don’t think it was a regional pronunciation, although New Yorkers and Bostonites certainly pronounced that way, as did everyone in the movies.
Now it’s time for a reader vote. I’ve amassed a small collection of 20th and 21st century personalities, all Americans, saying “orchestra”. Included are some notable hangers-on to the old tradition. Whose version of the word “orchestra” do you like the best? Leave your vote in the comments section!
Aaron Copland
Perhaps the finest representative version of the old-style way of saying “orchestra”. Quite pleasant and mellifluous.
Frank Sinatra
Surprisingly, this is a pretty modern rendition, although I’m quite sure that if I did a little more digging, I would find Frank saying “orchestra” with more of the original flavor to it.
Nelson Riddle
Again, somewhere in the middle, but closer to the modern way.
Loren Maazel
A very classic, very patrician reading, for a very classic, very patrician sort of man. [His "Nawth Korean" ain't bad either.]
Elmer Bernstein
Elmer “No Relation” Bernstein falls slightly on the classic side of the dividing line.
Charlie Rose
For me, Charlie has about the best rendition of “orchestra” of anyone under 70. An interview between him and Loren Maazel is a match made in heaven and a symphony of syllables when it comes to this word.
Lenny
Lenny’s version is definitely in the classic category, though there are plenty of examples of him saying “orchestra” that have a more modern twist. This particular version leans heavily on the “ohchestra” side of things and has a vaguely British quality to it.
Larry David
Larry David’s version is a fascinating one — his “awk” is very purely classic, and he really breaks up the rest of the syllables.
I really think that a revolution is afoot and that we can get the word “orchestra” back to being pronounced the way it ought to be. It is our American birthright.
So, please do leave a comment about who says “orchestra” your favorite way, and which way might work best for you!
