Carnegie post mortem

Here’s the thing about Carnegie: it’s comfy. It’s like sleeping on a well-stuffed elder-down bed.

You might think it’d intimidating or overwhelming to play that hall, but it’s not – it’s easy. It’s the way things always should be.

Dressing rooms: A+. Not a wire hanger in sight. Great water pressure on the toilet flush.

One surprise: the conductor’s stand was a Wenger. Like, a 1980’s Topeka band room model. Let’s class it up a little, shall we Carnegie!?

Tip: if you’re planning to snap a photo during the concert, honey, you’d better do it fast – the Carnegie ushers have ninja-like reflexes (they were likely falcons in a previous life) and they will not hesitate to defend their glorious hall from empixelation on your device.

Recommended: Dino’s Shoe Repair for a first-rate shoe shine, and the Columbus Circle Whole Foods for a great pre-show dinner and a VERY intimidating – but well-organized – check-out experience.

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Ask A Maestro: Why Italian?

Perché l’italiano? C’è la riposta:

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Carnegie Hall: June 13

Dear People of New York City, the Surrounding Region, and the World-at-Large:

On Saturday, June 13, in the Year of our Lord 2015, I am importing two (2) busloads of Ohioan teenagers to perform my music and the music of my bae, Alfred Schnittke, at Manhattan’s famous “MVSIC HALL” founded by Andrew Carnegie.

You are all hereby formally invited, so buy a ticket.

Saturday, June 13, 2015, 8:00 p.m.
Cincinnati Symphony Youth Orchestra
William White, conductor

Schnittke……The Story of an Unknown Actor
Prokofiev…..Romeo & Juliet (selections)
Schnittke…..(k)ein Sommernachtstraum
White………..Symphonic Essay No. 3

The program has a theatrical flair: two of the pieces take their inspiration from Shakespeare (the immortal bard!) and the “Unknown Actor” comes from a Soviet film about a thespian in the sticks.

My piece, which also doubles as the third movement of my Symphony, shares with Schnittke’s music a certain zany irreverence, particularly appropriate, I think, for a concert timed nearly to coincide with the summer solstice.

I do hope that you will join us, and I look forward to seeing you there!

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White pants & shoes are only worn between Memorial Day and Labor Day

“That’s not the rule anymore.”

“Says who?”

“The leading fashionistas.”

Oh, well, the leading bankers say that the laws about insider trading no longer apply, so print me a check! The leading cartels say that the laws about drug trafficking don’t apply, so load me up! The leading gangsters say that the rules about not shooting people no longer apply, so get me my Gatling gun!!

As a matter of fact, why don’t we just forget about this whole civilization thing altogether and walk around buck naked? If you see someone who looks good, knock ’em out, fry ’em up, and have a delicious afternoon snack, why don’t you!?

We have a word for people who live outside the law: criminals. And anyone who wears white pants, shoes, or dinner jackets before Memorial Day or after Labor day is a fashion criminal. Citizens of most nations have recourse to high courts and legislatures to change their laws. There is no such ruling body for seasonal fashion, no sartorial supreme court.

Ergo, the rule remains in tact. End of discussion.

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